As I write this, I am at my training in Michigan, and it
just hit me that, in a week, I will be staring at this screen from the other
side of the world. As I have shared
before, this realization brings with it a whole range of emotions. But, as I think back to where my heart was
just 6 months ago prior to traveling to Kenya in January, I am struck by the
fact that fear is no longer one of the many emotions making its home in my
heart. I realize that I am no longer
that scared little girl, terrified to spend the night anywhere, wanting to do
anything and everything to hide behind others so that I would not have to step
out in boldness. And that realization
brings an overwhelming thankfulness to the God who has freed me from these
things, and so many more.
Even as I sit here, I don’t know why God chose me, the most
unlikely of them all. When being called
to go back to Kenya more long term, my first reaction was to cry out to God, “Surely
you must not mean me. Choose someone else, someone stronger and braver”. But, in His loving and gentle ways, He slowly
illuminated the writing that I realized had been written on my heart for quite some
time. The love and passion I have for
Africa was given to me BY Him and FOR Him and He already has such wonderful
plans to fill in each and every one of my cracks, for His glory. And
with that realization, my heart has come alive in a way that I have never
experienced before.
I want nothing more than to waste my life on Him, for Him. I know, as I stare at the mountain before me,
that this journey will be difficult, heartbreaking at times. I also know that He never said it would be
easy but, in our faithfulness to Him, our cups will be overflowing. And
with little in my hands as I set forth to leave, it is His grace that fills me
with joy. His grace that allows me to
trust, one step at a time, that His plans are good, even in the midst of the
inevitable sorrow and suffering that I will face. And that is all that I could ever ask
for. As I prepare to leave for Kenya
next week, please continue to pray for the ministry as a whole, direction as to
what my specific role will be with the children, and for God to be preparing
the hearts of the people that I will have the blessing of serving.
I love you and thank you all for your support!
