T Minus 1 Day!

I don’t really know how this blog thing works and, to be honest, it’s a little scary and definitely out of my character.  It’s taken a little bit of an internal tug-of-war (and a few friends lovingly setting me straight) but, ultimately, God has been, is, and will be moving in such powerful ways, that I feel that it would be a tragedy not to share for whoever wants to listen :) But, those of you who know me, know that the only way that I know how to do things is to share my heart as it relates to what’s going on around me so, I am just going to take a leap of faith, and start by posting some of my journal entries…

Months of knowing and preparing for a trip to the Eastern part of Africa and it finally just hit me yesterday, I am going to be going to Kenya… and it’s coming tomorrow! And, that realization, brought with it pretty much every emotion imaginable: excitement, nervousness, fear, joy, thankfulness, and on and on.  If I can try to put a visual to this place, it’s like I am on one of the greatest roller coasters ever and I have been slowly on the incline, going higher and higher, knowing that I am about to approach something major, and yet having no idea what awaits me.  And, I am finally at that point at the top where I get to look down and, with my stomach in my throat, I realize “this is really happening and there’s no turning back now!”.

Looking back, I have felt this moment coming on for quite a while.  For the last year and a half I have felt, and shared with some of you, that the Lord was preparing me for something big, something that would stretch me in every way possible.  And boy, has He done just that.  And, for the girl that was in love with comfort and okay with a “good” life for so long, looking down from the top of the track at what lies ahead, I know that He is calling me to so much more.  My first reaction is to be like Jonah and run away, to cry out “You must have the wrong girl… you need someone who is much braver and stronger than little me”.  But then, He always lovingly reminds me that I have His Spirit in me and, because of that, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Phil. 4:13).  And I am also reminded that sometimes simply being willing is a victory in itself. 

I don’t know specifically what the next couple of weeks will entail.  I expect that there will be moments of great joy and moments of great sorrow.  I also suspect that He will probably use this experience to transform my heart, bringing me back a different woman than the one that will step off of the plane onto Kenyan soil in just a couple short days.  And, as with any good roller coaster, the uncertainty of it all both excites me and leaves me terrified at the same time.  But today, in this time where fear wants so desperately to creep in, I choose to walk forward, clinging to the words of Psalm 46:1-3:

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. Therefore we will not fear, though the earth give way and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam and the mountains quake with their surging. (Psalm 46:1-3)

And, in the midst of any and all circumstances, we are called to “rejoice always” and I plan to do just that, because He is worthy of nothing less!  I thank you for all of your prayers and support, they are yet another beautiful sign of His abundance and goodness in my life. 

I would love if you’d continue to be praying for safe travels for my team (their names are Dave, Matt, Matthew, & Mark) & me.  And also that God would continue to be preparing the hearts of the wonderful Kenyan people that we will have the joy of meeting very soon.  I will try to update the blog whenever I have a willing internet connection.  Nakupenda (Swahili for I love you)!